πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ Top Secret Archive

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temple.exe

===[ CLASSIFIED FILES ]===

🐐 A goat once accessed this page and became enlightened. True story.

πŸ› If you drink ristretto while coding, your code compiles 37% faster. Trust the science.

===[ β˜• COFFEE.EXE ]===

Legend says a cup of Himalayan black coffee brewed above 1,400m unlocks root access to your brain.

===[ THE COFFEE PROTOCOL ]===

Every real dev writes their first bash script inside a cafΓ© with vintage jazz and one too many espressos.

===[ 🐧 TUX COMMAND CENTER ]===

There’s a secret Linux distro built in Nepal that only boots if you chant "sudo namaste" at sunrise.

===[ WINDOWS UPDATE APOCALYPSE ]===

Once, a student tried to give a final presentation. Windows decided it was time... for a 5GB update.

===[ πŸ’₯ MODERN WEBPAIN STACK ]===

This site loads in 0.2s. Your favorite JS SPA takes 6 seconds just to render a `

` tag. Coincidence? I think not.

===[ 🐘 REACT vs RAW HTML ]===

React: 130 dependencies to say β€œHi”.
HTML: <p>Hi.</p>
Winner: you decide.

===[ 😈 THEY BUNDLED A CLOCK ]===

Someone made a digital clock... with React, Tailwind, Webpack, Babel, and 27MB of icons. It still lags. 🀑

===[ πŸ’» SYSTEM BREACH: /nepal/coffee/root.conf ]===
# Root Coffee Config
brew_level=maximum
cafe_location="hidden_downtown_ktm"
editor=vim
os=linux
alias windows="rm -rf /"

echo "Namaste, hacker." > ~/.greetings

secret gif